Thursday, November 17, 2005

Square One

Read this song

Had to find some higher ground
Had some fear to get around
You can't say what you don't know
Later I won't work no more

Last time though I hid my tracks
Saw while I could not get back
Yeah my way was hard to find
Can't sell yourself for piece of mind

Square one, my slate is clear
Rest your head on me, my dear
It took a world of trouble, took a world of tears
Took a long time... to get back here

Tried so hard to stand alone
Struggled to see past my nose
Always had more dogs than bones
I could never wear those clothes

It's a dark victory
You won and you also lost
Told her she was satisfied
But it never came across

Square one, my slate is clear
Rest your head on me, my dear
It took a world of trouble, took a world of tears
Took a long time... to get back here

This song in particular really hits my heart strong. When i hear this song, I see the life i led, and me looking back on it. I have a choice in this matter. When i look back i can be critical of myself, hold on to past mistakes, and never forgive myself OR i could look at it as a learning experience, feel blessed God pulled me out (in time), and use what i've learned to help others. Taking the second option is a definate, but is much harder when the devil creeps up on me in the night. I keep praying the lord forgives my past, even to forget it. I often go to PSALM 25 and as i pray, say it over and over again. "Lord, i give myself to you; my God, I trust you. Do not let me be disgraced; do not let my enemies laugh at me. No one who trusts in you will be disgraced, but those who sin without excuse will be disgraced. Lord tell me your ways. SHow me how to live. Guide me in your truth, and teach me, my God, my Savior. I turst in you all day long. Lord, remember your mercy and love that you have shown since long ago. Do not remember my sins, and wrong things I did when I was young. But remember to love me always, because you are good, Lord." How wonderful is David to write that? This is where i come in and say, all sins are equal. David was repenting. Did David commit my sins? If someone comes to the point where they are repenting to the Lord Himself, what should it matter what they did? I'm not talking about the kind of repent like, "oh i'm sorry God, that was a bad night last night" and then do it all again. I'm talking about full force repenting. It shouldn't matter what that person did or said because you know what? No one should judge, because we only have one true judge...and he doesn't care what you think about someone else's mistakes. These are just my beliefs, you don't have to agree. All i know is that God gave me my mistakes to learn from them, and this is what i've learned-I have been forgiven because Jesus gave His life for now i give my life to Him...I shouldn't have to worry about how others view me as long as i'm living by His word. (I also can't judge others, that wouldn't be obeying the Lord). "You can't say what you don't know" is what i guess i'm getting at. People come from all different walks. If they are good people and bring you closer to God, who cares what they've done in the past...? God's God and their life changing can only be a GOD THING. Ok, i'm off my soapbox now....thanks for listening...this song is really good...thanks