walking in righteousness

there isn't a day that goes by that i rather be in a room with non-believers than a room full of people that call themselves Christians.
There isn't a day that goes by that i don't get offended sometimes at other's actions against the cause of Christ, the great commission.
there isn't a day that goes by where God gives me a chance to be patient with others and i fail...well, fail more often than succeed at being patient-sometimes i let my passion and love for God leak out of my mouth. "My Stupid Mouth" the song John Mayer sings about.
Being offended, impatient (even it it's for God), and unwise...hmmmm. Flesh much?

Maybe it's because i really didn't believe in God working through me.
WHAM!!! Here comes God's truth....
I was made in His image, righteous, blameless, favored upon, and GOOD. He used Noah. Noah didn't once use his surroundings as an excuse to act any different than that character of God. "But God if I just lived away from all of this," or "If i just didn't work in this god-foresaken place," or here's the best, "If this hadn't of happened to me".... God used Noah because of his faith and therefore made him a righteous man. He used Noah not only to build the ark, but to preach righteousness for 120 years!!!!

Gary bought me a princess day at our health club's spa.i was very grateful, but confused...what made gary go all out like this!?.....exfoliating scrub, stone massage, facial, pedi, manicure, hair done, and lunch...6 hours. i was uncomfortable the whole time...
the whole time, i was like wow, this was so thoughtful, i don't dieserve it-i can't believe he would spoil me like this...but then my spirit kicked in....you are not here for you. i'm telling you i was torn all day, after my massage i felt like throwing up-for a while, i thought i was pregnant or something, nausous and all.
when i got to a station where i could interact with the women, i knew then why i was there.
they so desperately want jesus...it hurt me inside. i didn't bring up church (maybe i should have :/ ) but this woman came right out and asked me where i went to church, "do you go Rachael?" i told them where and they said, oh but i'm ____________, you fill in the denomination name....everything under a religious heading. "i just don't know if i could break my family's tradition. this is when i am prompted to talk about africa-it gets them out of their own bubble...but i couldn't. she was looking for God, someone to listen to her, i believe. God listens to me all the time...unveiled i listened. God would your glory shine through that? faith....
just kept listening. which is something i struggle with. i like to talk, my passion leaks out. God's teaching me patience, at least i think so .
--- off to the next station to the nails and hair part.....
"YOu know what really kills me? We have hurting people here. Louisanna, Mississippi, LA, i just hate when we give all our resources to Africa." said the hair lady... You know i went on a short term mission trip to NY, the Bronx and wow was i blessed." (this one called herself a Christian, "Well i watch joyce meyer every day, i have spirit tv, all christian"...blah blah). i couldn;t come back with africa and going....just kept listening. offended....no, impressed no... just wondering, where was this going God?
maybe it was the massage that put me in a funk.
Finally after about 20 minutes of this, I felt released to say something.... "you know the bible, you know paul was a missionary, traveling from one hurt nation to the next. Why did god tell him to do that? why didn't he stay in his own country? why was jesus despised in his own town? Now look at africa. what nations surround it and what's the main problem there-orphans, children without parents....people that are most influential...are children looking for love, acceptance, hope...-and muslims surrounding africa on all sides. they are just waiting to bring up a generation to destroy America. They are even planting themselves next to college campuses here."
Wow, never thought of it like that....
"Even think of Jonah, god told him to preach to a country who was the worst of the worst. Do you think that it's easy for people to leave all their comfort here and go out into dangerous places to preach the gospel? But like Jonah, God used him regardless of what Jonah wanted....YOu know paul's life wasn't easy. And you know Jesus' life wasn't always on a high from God. It's easy to say what you are saying right here, in your comfort...."
She stood there. Not offended.
She just soaked it in.
I mean come on -she does beth moore studies... wink.
"and i understand why you are concerned about our country, i teach in the ghetto everyday. you talk to people only hoping you can mention jesus just once, to share your faith. that's your mission. but there is something here that protects us. there is a covering of jesus that if we want we can turn to a church, or CHOOSE what church to go to. other countries don't have that. and jesus wants it for everyone."
believers and non-believers all listening now...was this a salon?
"and my husband and i are leaving for africa one day. leaving everything, our jobs, things, family."
short term? a couple of months?
"no, as long as god tells us to stay"
oh....
stomach ache left...sick feeling cleared.
did she get it? no...i didn't have to worry about that...

but that's not the best part.

i get home and wait for gary. he asked me how it went, if i was totally relaxed, felt like a princess...his hopes for the day. i shared with him what happened. and he was like, "rachael, i almost didn't get that for you, i almost just cancelled the whole thing thinking it would feed your flesh-it would make you rely more on your comfort, but i said, 'God this is in your hands, i want her to feel beautiful and loved today, you handle it' and then i found peace. now i know why"

i think i have really accepted that i don't have to share the comforts of the world. as much as it tells me that i need this or that, God's spirit always comforts me way better....

"the lord is not slow to keeping his promise as some undestand slowness. he is patient with you not wanting anyone to perish, but to come to repentance.
Bear in mind that our Lord's patience means salvation" 2 Peter 3:9, 15

And again, God knows i rather be in a room full of non believers than a room full of people who call themselves Christians....that's why i serve in an area at church where i am not around the "Christians". but man, didn't know he would throw that in my face. and not once did i get offended. it was this confidence i never felt before. it was Him. and they knew leaving that i really KNEW God. i know it.

After 120 years, and only his family chose to get on the boat..you know right there that Noah didn't do it for himself. He didnt' do it with expectations that they would all get it and believe it just because he loved god so much. he just did it because God told him to and to do it with faith. Everyday, God gives us things to be wise, patient, and bold in. Not for us to win a certain number of hearts for his kingdom, but to just walk with him in the righteousness he made us for....

thanks for that God, i feel so close to you..no wonder Noah did it for 120 years...