Tuesday, October 18, 2005

stepping outside my bubble

so i applied to Duval County. I feel this unbelievable pull from God in that direction. Jen and I have been talking about making the move. I know that where ever god wants me to be he will take me there. Its just so exciting to think that I could be closer to church and in a school where the ministering is endless. Leaving Flagler would be so hard (career wise)...things are so perfect there. I would def be going out of my comfort level. The thing is, I know god wants to end this season here, and start a new one. He knows i need to get farther away from Flagler to really blossom to what i can become. Still too much pain in Flagler, and God's pulling me up :)
I can't believe its almost Wednesday. I don't have the kids tomorrow...but i do have an exciting teacher work day scheduled (i am totally being sarcastic). It's going to be about reading strategies and then at 4 i have my other class that counts towards my endorsement (again all about reading strategies). ANnIcan and I are going to be going crazy by 7 tomorrow night. I wish i could make it to church tomorrow, but my class interferes. I don't have class next Wednesday, so i'm excited about hearing the message.
I just want to thank god for being my strength today (especially today). Jen,Annie, and John as well. I really fought the negative today (not with school, but with other setbacks) and they were my strength. The knots in my stomach were pulling tight, but they kept reminding me that it was just Satan testing my faith. Its easy to look to god and place blame on what goes wrong. Its so nice to have friends that keep me in check.
I think i'm going to start writing my letters to family about me going to Peru. Its been tough not having the support from my parents. Not financially, but spiritually and emotionally. My mom doesn't think i'll come back...its so funny how they raised me to love, trust, and follow God, but still have such a different outlook about certain things. I have the same disagreements with my parents as i do with the church i was raised in. So, it makes sense. I think a lot of where we disagree is me wanting to listen to what GOD wants me to do, and they still are in control (or think they are) with what they do. But, we just agree to disagree and are fine. I can only pray that one day my mom would actually come on a mission with me. That would be so incredible.
Friday is going to be a huge day for me...i don't have class on Saturday finally (yes i can actually sleep!)! So, if you feel like hanging, party on Montrano Ave....