Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Staying Updated

It has been extremely hard for me to update my Blog the way i had initially indended. I wanted this to be more of a personal journal. Somedays i feel so overwhelmed with what is being thrown at me that I don't really get a chance to express myself the way i really want to. I also have been without a personal computer at home and that is where i usually blog myself crazy. Today is the day after halloween, and its gone by pretty smoothly so far. The kids are pretty run-down from coming off their extreme sugar rush from last night. i'm basically teaching zombies.
school isn't really what i wanted to focus on today. I wanted to really talk about time and patience. Earlier this year God screamed at me and was beating me over the head. I kinda wrote about it earlier in October in the "Does this make sense" blog. He gave me a second chance at a life he indended for me, on His plan, not my own. I really am blessed to be given this opportunity and am so thankful everyday to look in the mirror and see myself the way Jesus has seen me since i was a baby. I know i have so many gifts to offer and can help others that have been in my situation. I continually have to ask the Lord to please instill in me more patience and allow Him to work on me, instead of me jumping ahead and thinking i can fix it all. I really pray that i only choose to do things in life that will bring me closer to God. I only want to surround myself with people that will bring me closer to him.
before there were so many things i settled for. i settled because i never knew any different. I never knew that God had greater plans for me. I never listened to Him on what i should do. now, when i'm given a situation, instead of acting on impulse, i think about it, journal about it, and then pray. it is amazing the miracles that have happened since i really learned to pray. I know God wants me to take my time on everything that i encounter. I want to really learn about things before i decide to partake in them. i have already asked my family, close friends, and mentor to really hold me accountable to that. i tend to let my feelings take over my situation instead of what God really is saying to me. I think many of us struggle with that, but at least now, i'm aware of it and want to work on it.
so, Lord, please guide me to only make decisions based on your word and what is right. Please don't let my feelings or my wants get in the way of your plan. Open my ears to always hear you. Give me patience to always accept my circumstances. I only want to be closer to you.