Waking the Dead

Our small "overflow" groups start for celebration this tuesday...i'm pretty excited about them. They are based upon the book, "waking the dead" by john eldridge. may i say that he is an incredible writer. this particular book deals with the war that's going on between the seen and unseen. we wonder why things are so hard at times, well people that's because there are things tempting us in the wrong direction that we must pick up our shield and fight them off for jesus. my response to this book was i think how most guys responded to wild at heart. well, at least the way my dad did. after i read i want to start swingin'. i want to attack anything that comes near me. that attitude really gets me thinking to where i was last year at this time, so weak, such a push-over, whiney, miserable. the only thing that could get me out was accepting myself as powerless and giving my life to jesus. sounds "aa"ish, but really. how blessed am I? coming from letting those demons control my life to someone ready with sword in hand to fight for the good. john eldridge talks about the heart being the center of our human life, the connector between us and people, us, and GOD. that's how i can look back at my life then and my life now and can say, yeah i always knew I would hear His call. I always knew since i was little (probably bc of sunday school as a tot with "jesus loves little children" or "jesus loves me this i know") that God totally was after my heart. full out fighting for it, bc, not to brag, well, yes to brag, i have a great heart-my life isn't nearly as fulfilled without loving on somebody. i have to-that's probably why i teach. out of 25 kids, there has to be one to love on at some time in the day.
anyways in this group, i am the assistant to alex and megan. they are the group leaders and mentoring me, so hopefully one day, i will be prepared enought to lead my own group. its been on my heart to do something like this, that's why i've felt so blessed that they asked me to assist them. i would love to have a small group just for highschool girls and run it with jen my roommate...i think it would be so impactful. really setting that example, the one i always wished i had at that age. so back to my point...alex asked me to come prepared on saturday (planning day) with answers to two questions, what do i see happening in this small group and what am i afraid of...the afraid of question stumped me. i can't think of anything i'm afraid of, maybe saying something stupid, but really what could be said that's stupid. i didn't think answering that question would be so hard, but dang, i'm going to have to get back to alex on that one...its not like i don't have fears...i do, its just putting them into words..
well its late and i have a 5 am run tomorrow...last day of morning tutoring...finally on monday i can sleep in...nooooo more early mornings! before i go, i just want to pray for my roommates that they have a safe time traveling this weekend to their parents' houses. love u guys, thanks for understanding me this week.