Monday, February 20, 2006

carry on son carry on

Matthew 5:14-17

14"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."

Over the past 8 months my life has dramatically changed. I stopped hurting myself, digging myself into holes, and seeking for happiness through temporary enjoyment. I've learned so many things i thought i already knew how to do.... I've learned to be patient. I've learned to accept. I've learned to forgive. I've learned to understand. Many people whom i love unconditionally, trust, and am very close to had a hard time understanding what was going on in my life. not having their encouragement like i normally would in the past was extremely hard for me. it caused me to seek and surround myself with people that understood and would provide that encouragement. I wanted so badly to tell everyone about this change that made me so on fire for God, but knowing what they would think, only caused me to hide. If was more like, "what if i stumble, what if i fall?" if i say i'm going all out for God, then mess up, they would judge me more...that may have been how the world thinks, but dang, God is so the opposite. and after a while, and the more i reflected on my changes each day, i realized this change was bringing people back into my life that i haven't been connected with in years. loving, giving, on fire for God people... where one side was bringing me down, the new side was leveling out the negative with the positive. i realize at first i jumped into this new commitment and many were concerned thinking i was in a cult, a jahovis witness, or even giving animal sacrifices (no but after the newness dimmed, and they really saw the importance of what i was involved with, their synacism turned to encouragement, even curiousity. i realized that if i'm the "light" why am i not putting myself on a stand? if a room blacked out, the person with the flashlight would lead them to safety. Right?

I have been led to a life where i have been called to lead people to God. And i would have learned this earlier ( if i would spend more time with the Bible) but i'm not going to be the one to reach lifestyle may convict them, but its God who is really doing the preparing. The lifestyle that i was being judged on, made fun of, and even casted away upon, could possibly be the only "bible" people read. it is the most accessable witness. what i really am striving to do is to take the goodness that God's shown me, and showing it to others.

So, next time i'm not going to hold back thanking God for all He's done in my life or yours. I pray that He keeps blessing me so I am able to give him all the glory, in hopes one day others will see that I didn't make that happen but God totally did, and realize that the only way to attain that peace in through Jesus leading.

So i get to this season i'm in right now. God called me to this mission trip to Peru. Each day it gets harder and harder fighting what's right and wrong, good and bad because Satan doesn't want us going there, why would he? God's going to reach a lot of people the week of March 17-24, possibly a whole village! All i want is to see His kingdom advance. It hurts my stomach to think of all the places in the world who have never heard of brings out the true barbarian woman in me..wanting to share His word at any cost. makes me want me middle name to be stephen...only in two chapters of the whole bible, but dang, he sold out at all costs for Jesus.

so, i'm selling out...i'm not going to change how much i love everyone, that only gets stronger...but i have changed how i view things, i may not agree with what the rest of the world sees, and i'm not going to say my flesh will never be tempted to do wrong....but i'm all for Jesus, and what the world thinks isn't going to phase me. thanks tina for the P.U.S.H.


Anonymous said...

Fight the good fight for the true faith. Hold tightly to the eternal life to which God has called you, which you have confessed so well before many witnesses.
1 Timothy 6:12

People are encouraged by you, and how you are fighting the good fight now, but it is a fight. That means that hell knows your name. So as the Paul said, you need to pick up your armor. Your Shield of Faith, and your sword of the spirit. Because it doesn’t get easier, it gets harder, but at every turn, God is making you more and more into a likeness of Him. Rest will come, but do not grow weary in doing good. You may be on the verge of a major breakthrough in your life. Like you haven’t already had breakthroughs by the sound of it. But again, Paul tells us that our current trials aren’t even worthy to be compared with the glory that is to come in us. Remember that. He will see you through this, if it wasn’t so hard it would take so much faith, and He wants to grow your faith. He wants you at a place where you can, in increasing measure, believe Him more and more in every area of your life.