It's not Christianity

We’ve exchanged that great hymn “Onward, Christian Soldiers” for a subtle but telling substitute, a song that is currently being taught to thousands of children in Sunday school each week, which goes something like this (sung in a very happy, upbeat tune):

I may never march in the infantry,
ride in the cavalry,
shoot the artillery, I may never fly over the enemy
but I’m in the Lord’s army, yes sir!

There is no battle and there is no war and there is no Enemy and your life is not at stake and you are not desperately needed this very hour, but you’re in the Lord’s army. Yes, sir. Doing what? may I ask.

The reason I bring this up is that if you want the real deal, if you want the life and freedom that Jesus offers, then you are going to have to break free of this religious fog in particular. “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery” (Gal. 5:1). So here’s a bottom-line test to expose the Religious Spirit: If it doesn’t bring freedom and it doesn’t bring life, it’s not Christianity. If it doesn’t restore the image of God and rejoice in the heart, it’s not Christianity.

The ministry of Jesus is summarized by one of those who knew him best when Peter brings the gospel to the gentiles: “God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and . . . he went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with him” (Acts 10:38). The stream of Spiritual Warfare was essential to Jesus’ life and ministry. It follows that it must be essential to ours if we would be his followers.

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This was taken from John Elderidge's book Waking the Dead. It really spoke to me because there are so many times where I am held being comfortable about where I am at. Being comfortable about where I am at doesn't bring me life! Jesus has so much more for me! I'm not saying I want to live my life always picking at what I've done feeling "Not good enough". I'm saying God has and will always give me opportunities to be his hands and feet, i can choose to take it or leave it, and it doesn't sadden him! He'll go on to the next person who is willing.
I've been willing all this time....God, take me to the ends of the earth to preach your word-love the unloveley, comfort the hurting....but my parents, especially my mom has been having a really hard time about my decision to do missions in africa. It's so hard and tiring to defend what i have to do, or to listen to her with cotton in my ear. when she speaks she only speaks death into my life. "you can't have a baby of there, i was real sick all through pregnancy and you will too, it's in your genes". it tears me down. instead of taking her to my level, i go down to hers. i don't want to admit that i have a mother who does that. she is so loving and a great woman, BUT i have to leave it to God to reach her. I've been allowing it to seperate me and Gary and i know it's God's way of showing me that I am under Gary, and my mom needs to let go.
For a while i thought being willing was enough. "Here I am God, if you think I can, sure I'll try"....but now, I'm going to be a wife! I want to leave everything in America and serve the people of Africa. Eventually, I'll be a mother. These things are not just expected of women, but are gifts! blessings! I need to go full force! And the ministry i'm involved in? That needs to be done with excellence as well! I can't pick and choose what I want to be excellent in, God's placed all these people and things in my life where He expects only my best effort. I want to be free in Jesus, I don't care if it's what others think is right for me or not. I am here for Jesus, and I'm doing the Jesus thing. TD Jakes says, "don't follow dead leaders" and the scripture where the man asks if he can burry his dead father before he goes with Jesus and He tells him "let the dead burry the dead" has been on my heart...i'm not following or letting the ways of my mother carry into my life or my marriage. i will only follow alive leaders...the ones who GET IT. I may not have had a good example for a mother, but i do have the word and i do have JESUS.
We're going to Africa, we're going to serve God with everything that we have there. No more "well God if you think i can do it, i'm going" it's "Ok God, i'm doing this for you, i'm expecting the hardest things to happen, but i'll be ready. I'm ready! I'm free.I'm free of her ways only because of Him." I'm in your army God. I want to be on the front lines. I don't care if i die. I've given you my life. There is nothing more that I can give once you ahve that...I'm under your control do what you will!

"Lord fulfill your purpose for me; your live, oh lord endures forever. do not abandon the work of your hands, cover your love over my mouth, let it only be a lifegiving tree. may my prayer set before you like incense because it is alligned with your will. when my hands reach to you or my knees bow, take it as my daily sacrifice. let not my heart be drawn to anything that is evil. let good or bad strike me as only kindness. Let the overflow of my heart only pour out you. show me the wife and mother you want me to be. bring out my strengths and let me not focus on my weaknesses. help me to stay positive because you have purpose and plans for my life. that is my focus each day Lord. Guide me at every chance. Draw near."
In jesus Holy and PRECIOUS NAME
amen