I want to remain.....

I wish I could tell you that because I went to Africa and stepped out of my little life in the states that the orphans of Swaziland's cries have seized. They still cry...every day.... I wish I could tell you that because I went to Africa the AIDS cases in Swaziland (which are the highest in the WORLD) reduced. They are still the highest. I wish I could tell you that I am satisfied with coming back to America...I'm not. The cries are louder. The lack of knowledge is greater. The hopelessness is more apparent. How can there be so many Christians in the world and we still have so much hurt? So much need? Gary and I started our journey home on Wednesday morning at about 4:30 am. We didn't get back to Florida until 2 am on Friday morning. I thought that my emotions were out of wack due to the lack of sleep, airplane food, and the need to get out of dirty clothes. I have been crying at the most random times. I thought it was because I knew most definitely now that Gary and I are called to leave. Forever? Not even thinking that far ahead...but for a while, for a trial, for a season, yes. We are called to Africa. After really praying and thinking about why I was so emotional, I realized that I left a place where the people I "did life with" for a short two weeks, were some people that I know deep in my heart care for me and would do anything for me. And I started crying because I know that i would do that for them. I would do anything for them. I realized that their need for God was so strong. Just being around them, talking and serving with them-I tear up because I yearn to do life with people like them. Gary and I felt like culturally we never left the U.S. The transition was smoother than any other trip we had ever been on. Did i miss the fact that I couldn't call my family whenever I wanted? YES. But when I weigh my wants and THEIR NEEDS, I would be sinning if I chose my wants. "You have not come to a mountain that can be touched and that is burning with fire; to darkness, gloom and storm. to a trumpet blast or to such a voice speaking words that those who heard it begged that no further word be spoken to them, because they could not bear what was commanded..... But you have come to Mount Zion, to the heavenly Jerusalem, the city of the living God. You have come to thousands upon thousands of angels in joyful assembly, to the church of the furstborn, whose names are written in heaven. You have come to God, the judge of all men, to the spirits of righteous men made perfect, to Jesus the meditator of the new covenant, and to the sprinkled blodd that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel. See to it that you do not refuse him who speaks...."Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens".The words "once more" indicate the removing of what can be shaken-that is, created things-so that what cannot be shaken may remain. Therefore since we are recieving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our "God is a consuming fire". Hebrews 12-ish So once again, I ask you why are we still here? Why are we not all big balls of passion screaming out to help our neighbors? There are people in the world that are chained to lies and hopelessness who can't even accept THIS UNSHAKEABLE LOVE HE WANTS US ALL TO HAVE. THIS GOD WHO WILL REMAIN FOREVER! THIS KINGDOM THAT IS OPEN TO ALL WHO CHOSE HIS WAYS! Africa, China, you name it, they need us. God needs us to spread his good news. Not just for a Sunday morning, but in the way we live our lives! I wasn't trying to make this post all about getting people to do missions, because, like i said above, a short term trip won't save a nation. My heart just wants to make us all aware that people are giving up their desires and comforts to help the helpless. It's not like our homeless here in this nation-these are kids who's parents' generation has died off from AIDS. KIDS. 5 month old babies strapped to their 6 year old sister with a 2 year old in her free hand. It's real. It's so real. I now can tell you that Africa will change....these kids, these orphans are learning the love of Jesus. I can tell you that I am changed...each day there, I learned that the less I try to do, the more HE does. I can tell you that God is honoring those who step out in faith. Those who stand together and believe that there is more to this life than just living-there is an Eternal kingdom, and they will be sitting so close to their Maker. I can tell you that that 6 year old who takes care of her little 5 month old sister and 2 year old brother...she gets to be a kid when she steps into the gates of the Carepoint. Someone is there to relieve her arms of her siblings so she can swing, run, and play for a while. I'm not sad because of all the kids, I know that what children's cup is doing, walking hand in hand with God, these kids' lives will be changed....I'm sad that I can't help them more right now. I'm sad that I couldn't stay and encourage them, to be fresh on the mission field and remind them that they are there because they obeyed God...period. I'm sad because i want to take you all with me to see it for yourself. It wasn't a vacation or a travel experience. It wasn't to get another stamp in my passport. I want to remain with God's best. I want to leave a legacy. I want my kids at 7 years old to know the calling God has on their life like some of the missionary's children I met. I want to be so close to God, nothing can shake me off.