Screwtape Letters...

I've been reading the Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis lately...it's basically a story of a demon, Screwtape writing encouragement and "tips" to his nephew when dealing with a human who was an athiest and is now trying to live their life for God.
It really had me thinking....(so i'll try to organize it into words)
and all i could do was apply it to my life...
You know Satan puts so much effort into trying to steal us back...and through this man's struggle trying to know God, I wanted to be that little whisper in his ear that said, "it's worth it, keep fighting". I know God's already won, HUGE....and I guess it takes a lot of accepting the fact that our life isn't going to be easy. There was one part of the book that Screwtape even used people of this man's new congregation to turn him away, to build up pride that he was better than they were...Satan plays so dirty and the less emotions we allow him to play with the better off we are in the fight. Screwtape kept telling his nephew, "just bring in something that will set him off emotionally, like his past with his mother".
So, I looked more into CS Lewis and his life....and watched other people who dont' allow their emotions to run them. And i tried to figure out where I fit in to all of it. CS Lewis was very vocal about Satan being real....and I think sometimes I forget that when I let my emotions play-my thoughts to wander...He wasn't like, "oh that devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy kids" but he painted a picture for me that dang, he will take your mind, twist it into something so foreign that when you look in the mirror you won't know what's real or fantasy....that kind of jump started my whole motivation to control as much of my thought life as possible. For example, as sick as I'm still getting, I've changed my attitude towards Gary. When the sickness would strike (and it's now turned into after work-perfect timing for when Gary gets home) I've tried to exercise one of God's spirits through my actions and words instead of "Just leave me alone, i'm sick". There has been a major change in our time spent together. And through my efforts, i've been getting more sick-but i can see that as just another attempt to take back all Gary and I have grown towards...
I've decided that the writers who have been around FOREVER, the CS Lewis', Mother Teresas, the Oswald Chambers, well, they obviously knew what they were talking about if their books have lasted this long. I know sometimes I can read the whole book and only a few sentences would jump out at me-but those few words of wisdom really have made a difference in my life. It's helped take so much of the emotion out of my relationship with God...in a good way. Each encounter I notice more of a closeness to Him.