Sunday, January 29, 2006

21 days are what?

Throughout this 21 days of prayer and fasting, God has revealed more than i can imagine, not just in me, but in people i've been praying for hardcore. if anything my faith in Him has increased to the highest...i've been totally rocked. its funny too, usually when i go into something i'm unsure of, or clueless on what to expect, my expectations are formed on these weird terms. I think things out until my brain hurts on what may happen, and if it does, what do i do then? during this time, i didn't have any expectations, but i did have a bunch of critism from people, even people that i depend on for support. when i was being judged on what i chose to do, at first i wanted to just give into what they wanted me to do because it was just easier. throw away what i chose to believe because i didn't want others to worry about me, or make them feel better by pleasing their opinions. i'm telling you, their statements and views were constantly running around in my head whenever i was tempted. but each time, God blessed me with just the smallest thing even to keep me going. whether it was a need from a child i have been dying to help, good news from a friend i've been praying about FOREVER, a comment that someone was praying for me that has never said it before, my friends being happy when they may have been sad for a while, or given a gift that for so long didn't think i was able to receive. so anyways, now that its over, i'm like, now what? i'm so used to this way of life, or not having what i've given up, that God has made it so clear that i don't need it. even things that i didn't give up, that i just happen to stop doing. i'm so thankful for that! and just when i didn't think it could get any better, pastor stovall preached on the most simple concept today that i totally needed. it came out of john 13 about being a servant to eachother. when pastors preach on this topic, it seems so clear that we all should do that. do on to others, blah blah...but really, dang, it was hard for me to do that this weekend. I was so crazy in my mind from the fasting and whatever other crap i magnified in my mind, that i totally lost sight on how i treat people. praise god for that message. and with that, i want to share with you from the chapter of ECCLESIASTES, yes, i said it, the 21st book from the old testiment. Stovall preached from it today talking about the world and how much it has brainwashed us into thinking we have to have certain things, or be a certain way. It hit my heart because i struggle with the difference between my NEEDS and WANTS. I am torn day to day on how the world views things and how God wants me to view things. but i think these verses put things in perspective....
what does man gain from all his labor at which he toils under the sun?
generations come and genereations go, but the earth reminds forever.
the sun rises and the sun sets, and hurries back to where it rises.
the wind blows to the south and turns to the north. round and round it goes, ever returning on its course.
all streams flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full.
to the place the streams come from, there they return again.
all things are wearisome, more than one can say.
The eye never has enough of seeing nor the ear its full of hearing.
what has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.

if anyone knows about what u need and don't, Solomon tested it, he knew all he needed was God, but he had access to all and in the end, realized it was all foolish.
whoever loves money never has money enough, whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. this too is meaningless. a good name is better than fine perfume, and the day of dealth better than the day of birth.
this is probably random, but this chapter in the bible really hit my heart. i've been reading it over and over. i guess i really was humbled on what i need and what i want and how i've been viewing things, or did before i decided to give some things up. praise god He's been working so hard in me! thanks God for some great revelations and blessings you have given me. i pray that you never stop working in me...and you continue to always give me the strength to put you first.


Brittany said...

Girl, I identify with needs vs. wants. The roxy shoes, the running shoes, the extra cash to buy pepermint mochas, etc. I am convicted to live a simple life, and then I walk into a store and immediately have this impulse to buy. Thanks for sharing this.