Friday, October 19, 2007

stretching, growing, setting yourself apart from the rest

Whenever i start feeling like i want to be alone, or i look at things in a negative manner, it's when i'm putting my needs before God. It's when I put Rachael before God. Ouch...that sounds so bad. I guess you could say that God blessed me last night by opening my eyes to the fact that I needed to change. After Gary and I got married, we were in such a cloud of grace. If you notice the picture of the sunset, that was the scene from our ship after we got married-HEAVE WAS CELEBRATING!! I promise, that's what was going on...hehe. i was like, wow, God loves me, i am a beautiful creation, look at this gift he has blessed me with...which was all true!! i know that. but i remained the same person for that time-the one that takes, takes, takes. my flesh was definitely spirit, ha!
"The spirit is willing, but the body is weak" mark 14:38..............
that's what i read this morning, when after talking to Gary last night, i realized that i needed to get up early and honor my lord. "No, i get the most from God about an hour before bedtime, that's when i will do it Gary!"
"what if you don't have that time?" silence......... flesh you are so weak. flesh you are sooo stinky!
my alarm went off at 5:45. i got to work by 6:30 with a coffee in my hand. I've never enjoyed the school so much. quiet, no kids, empty halls without any complaining, bickering or gossiping.
as i think back to childhood, i remember my mom leaving extra early to get to work. i never understood why. she wasn't going there to be with God, but she was thirsty for a sense of peace.
at school i realized that i needed to prepare myself. i needed to spend time in the word, spend time in prayer, and spend time journaling what i knew God was speaking to me. i asked him for goals he wanted from me, a strategic plan to accomplish those goals, not just thoughts and then attempts that didn't accomplish those goals. lord, i love you, i never stopped loving you, but i have neglected you and taken advantage of your goodness. i've always been thankful, you've always brought me to tears lord because of your goodness and love-i pray you always convict me of this lord. God does this because i've expressed my ultimate desire to him, I want to be USED UP by Him. I want him to drain every last drop of me into his great commission. nothing satisfies me like Jesus. nothing compares. it's like when Chris Hodges spoke a few Sundays ago-"if i could only tell you what the Lord has done for me". He's indescribable.
so Jesus thank you for this time of stretching, taking me out of my little hole...and showing me your majesty. May you reign down and use this emptied vessle for your will!


Gail said...

Heaven was celebrating at the union of two very precious people!

I know from experience that the evenings are bad for me to do any devotional, bible reading, the time I am done with dinner and any chores, i am exhausted and probably could go to bed at 8pm sometimes. So, I knew that if I was going to get my time in with God, it had to be first thing in the morning- which used to be devoted to exercise. But I had read many things that re-confirmed to me that God has to come first, first thing in the morning. Even one of the verses in Proverbs 31, she would rise while it was yet dark.

I thrive on my mornings being made God's. On the days when I don't have time, I at least pray-especially to feel the fruit of His Spirit-kindness, gentleness, etc. Then I listen to sermons in the car or to the promise. It's hard (really hard) to keep getting up early, but I think that God uses my dogs for reinforcements. :) ----As I typed out the word DOG (s) I just realized that dog spelled backwards is GOD!!! God, over the past couple of years, has literally used my DOG(s) to get me up early enough to spend time with HIM!

I loved this post, and can promise your days will benefit by putting devotional time in the morning. (Sorry to side with Gary) Love ya,Gail