Friday, November 09, 2007

What Good Is Suffering?

What good is suffering....well, we all have to at one time or another. God doesn't say we might, doesn't say IF you suffer...he says you will for me. you will. so my real question is god, how can i suffer good? i'm not going to ask him why me anymore. i refuse to try and figure it out. i know i'm a messed up bag of flesh, but i've got to come to the realization that what i know isn't going to grown my faith. what i learn will, what i trust in will, the more i take myself out of the equation....
i'm going through growing pains. i'm going through, "it's not just rachael" anymore. when i hear our pastors preach on marriage, and their marriages, they make it sounds so easy. they make it sound like there was never any trial... the world says that as long as it looks good from the outside, there is no problem....i've been following that for a while. the first week i moved in with my roommate jen (more than 2 years ago) she asked me why i cleaned so much, why i was so anal about things looking perfect. i didn't think it was a problem. i thought things were supposed to look that way. and if they didn't look pretty, well, then push them under the bed or in the closet.
i didn't know that had to do with me pushing off suffering.
but it did.
if it meant i would suffer, if i got the slightest feeling that things may not work out for me, well then, under the bed, never happened.
but now i'm in a commitment, that i've made under God. my relationship with him.... and here on earth, my relationship with my husband.
lord i know that i live in a fallen world with suffering and death and horrible things everywhere i turn. i know you allow it God. but you promise us have suffering so we realize there has to be more to it than just this place, with these things....
lord teach me how to suffer well. if your name is resting on me while i suffer, please lord-i bear your name. help me to realize that if arguments happen, if there is something in me that needs growth, please lord, help me to grow well-help me to kill my childish flesh. give me the positive mind set and rejoice that i'm participating in the sufferings of christ.
i kept seeing me walking into heaven with this herd of people. i was a part of the was almost like a nightmare. and i kept hearing, you said it was too passed your blessing... and then god gave me this scripture.

"for this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith good ness, and to goodness knowledge, and to knowledge, self-control, and to self-control, perseverance, and to perseverance, godliness, and to godliness, brotherly kindness and to brotherly kindness, love. for if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knoledge of our lord jesus christ. but if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins. for if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kindgom of our lord and savior jesus christ."


Alex Tran said...

i always enjoy reading your posts. it's always a good reminder that we need to keep are relationship with God real, open and honest.

Rachael said...

i miss you alex...gary's lucky you are in the small group with him!