10 weeks away....

As I sit here, realizing that I'm going to be a real life mom in 10 weeks, there is just one major emotion that overwhelms me.....love....i feel so loved to know God has blessed me with a child. So many women can't have kids-or they get pregnant "the wrong time". But I couldn't have thought of a better time in Gary and my life to have a baby. And now it's hitting me-this is for real-I'm going to be a mom, the main source of protection and care for a helpless little child...thinking of all these great things she could be one day. And that's where I finally decided-i'm going to stay at home with her...until I feel released to go back to work. Gary told me in the beginning he would like for me to stay at home, but I just couldn't fathom not working. Sure take a few months off-then do both....but the closer to her birth we get-the more I'm realizing it's my role as a mother to stay home with her. So many women don't get that opportunity or choice for that matter. I have such a wonderful, well prepared husband who has given me that choice! At first I was like, ok maybe-with all this fear in my head-will we have enough money? what about medical insurance? what if i hate staying home all day? what if.....

what if I love it? what if i'm really good at it? what if i grow in areas i never thought i needed growth in? what if Abbey benefits from it? What if my husband benefits from it? Yes, I want to be who God's planned for me to be, but most importantly, I want my family to be all God's planned for them to be too.

I just feel so overwhelmed with love right now. Thank you God for the small miracles in life that truly matter. Thank you for giving us these blessings even though we don't diserve them.